SWEARING AT WORK

It has been brought to management's
attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using
foul language during the course of normal conversation with their
co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may
be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be
tolerated. We do however; realize the critical importance of being able to
accurately express your feelings when communicating with co- workers. Therefore a list of 18 New and innovative phrases have been provided so that
proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective
manner.
1) TRY
SAYING:
I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD
OF:
You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

2) TRY
> SAYING:
She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD
OF:
She's a ball-busting c__t.

3) TRY
SAYING:
Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF:
And when the f___ do you expect me to do that?

4) TRY SAYING:
I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD
> OF:
No f___ing chance.

5) TRY SAYING:
Really?
INSTEAD OF:
You've got to be sh__ing me!

6) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF:
Tell someone who gives a f__.

7) TRY SAYING:
I wasn't involved in
> the project.
INSTEAD OF:
It's not my f____ing problem.

8) TRY SAYING:
That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF:
What the f___?

9) TRY SAYING:
I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF:
This sh__ won't work.

10) TRY SAYING:
I'll try to schedule that in.
INSTEAD OF:
Why the f___ing h _ll didn't you tell me sooner?

11) TRY SAYING:
He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF:
He's got his head up his a__.

12) TRY SAYING:
Excuse me sir?
INSTEAD OF:
Eat sh__ and die.

13) TRY SAYING:
So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF:

Kiss my a__.

14) TRY SAYING:
I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF:
F___ it, I'm not getting overtime.

15) TRY SAYING:
I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF:
Shove it up your a__.

16) TRY SAYING:
I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF:
This job sucks c__k.

17) TRY SAYING:
You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF:
Who the f___ died and made you boss?

18 ) TRY SAYING:
He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF:
He's a pr_ck.
Thank You,
Human Resources