1. If you think your fat, you probably are. Don`t ask us
2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if its up put it down
3. Don`t cut your hair. Ever
4.Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if he can find the perfect present , again.
5.If you ask a question you don`t want an answer to, expect an answer you don`t want to hear.
6. Sometimes, hes not thinking about you. Live with it.
7.Get rid of your cat. And no, its not different, its just like every other cat.
8.Dogs are better than any cats. Period.
9. Sunday=Sports. Its like the full moon or the changing of the tides, Let it be.
10. Shopping is not sport.
11. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
12.You have enough cloths.
13. You have too many shoes.
14. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don`t expect us to like it.
15. Ask for what you want. Sutle hints don`t work.
16. No, he doesn`t know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar
17. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We`re bound to miss sometimes.
18. Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes- what makes you think we`d be good at choosing which pair out of thirty, would look good with your dress ?
19. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
20. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
21. Yor Mom doesn`t have to be your best friend.
22. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
23. Check your oil.
24. Don`t give us 50 rules when 25 will do.
25. Don`t fake it. We`d rather be ineffective than deceived.
26. Its neither in your best interest nor ours to take a quiz together.
27. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.
28. If you don`t dress like the Victoria`s Secret girls, don`t expect us to act like soap opera guys.
29. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
30. Let us ogle. If we don`t look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are.
31. Don`t rub the lamp if you don`t want the genie to come out.
32. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done, not both.
33. Christopher Columbus didn`t need directions, and neither do we.
34. Women wearing Wonderbras and low cut blouses lose their right tocomplain about having their boobs stared at.
35. Telling us that the models in the men`s magazine`s are air brushed makes you jealous and look petty and its certainly not going to deter us from reading the magazines.