Spike
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[I took this out]
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Patrick
God Bless America
Be proud of your Country!
Edited by Spike (Thu May 20 2004 10:48 PM)
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Matt999
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if you think redneck jokes are funny
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LI Phil
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Actually neither of these are funny. Keep the humor on the up and up, huh.
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2005 Forecast: 14/7/4
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LI Phil
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Spike,
Just as with blondes, rednecks may find this humor unamusing. (that's a joke). Still, I think that if you want to make jokes, funny as they may be, they should probably be PC. I, myself, am pretty much unoffended by anything, but there may be a segment of the viewing audience that "can't take a joke." Jeff Foxworthy made it OK to poke fun at good ole boys, but that doesn't mean it's always OK. I don't want to be the PC police; in fact far from it. Just don't want you getting banned from the boards.
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2005 Forecast: 14/7/4
BUCKLE UP!
"If your topic ain't tropic, your post will be toast"
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Spike
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Hey Matt I dont know what your problem is but you really need to lighten up. And to LI Phil I just will stop posting any jokes what so ever.
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Patrick
God Bless America
Be proud of your Country!
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LI Phil
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Spike,
Don't stop posting...just remember that there are folks who might take what you say the wrong way. I'm not one of them, but you must consider people's feelings. Just to show you I'm not averse to a little bad humor, here's one of my favorite jokes:
A jew, a catholic and a colored boy walk into a bar...
No wait, I'm KIDDING!
Here goes (and this one's a tad racist, but not over the top)
Jesse Jackson is talking to God. He's been in the presidential race for some time, but not gathering much support. So he asks God:
"God, in my lifetime, will a woman ever be President?"
God responds: "Yes Jesse, in your lifetime, there will be a female president."
Encouraged, Jesse then asks, "God in my lifetime will there be a Jewish president?"
God thusly replies, "Yes, Jesse, in your lifetime, there will be a Jewish President."
Emboldened, Jesse then asks the obvious, "God, in my lifetime, will there ever be a black president?"
God thinks about this for a moment and then replies,
"Jesse, I don't know about in your lifetime, but there ain't gonna be one in mine!"
Bad, yes, but probably politically correct.
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2005 Forecast: 14/7/4
BUCKLE UP!
"If your topic ain't tropic, your post will be toast"
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Spike
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Lol! Thats a good one I have never heard that. Still I am gonna stop posting jokes. I have a bad sence of humor which has gotten me in trouble many times in school, in school suspension, and other things. I think it is best that I just stop now before I get in alot of trouble 
I will still post on the other forums just I think its best that I skip this one.
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Patrick
God Bless America
Be proud of your Country!
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LI Phil
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Dude, don't not post jokes. Just think first. There are plenty of comedians who've made livings telling jokes, without resorting to ethnic humor. And the cardinal rule about jokes is this: the longer the joke, the better the punch line better be. One liners are funny for about one second, but that's because they are "one liners". So, for max payoff, the longer the joke the better the payoff better be.
Maybe tomorrow I'll post my mostest favoritest joke. Pretty damn funny if you ask me. And the only people who might be offended are drunks (and they got nuthin' to say!)
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2005 Forecast: 14/7/4
BUCKLE UP!
"If your topic ain't tropic, your post will be toast"
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Spike
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Lol, I will look forward to hearing your joke  . I'll try to think or find some jokes that arnt offencive.
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Patrick
God Bless America
Be proud of your Country!
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LI Phil
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Well, thats the problem. Most people will laugh, but there'll always be one person (the "good" apple) who finds something that offends them. Just don't target a race of people 
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2005 Forecast: 14/7/4
BUCKLE UP!
"If your topic ain't tropic, your post will be toast"
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Spike
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Ok. And I am sorry to you and the mods about that! It will not happen again I promise.
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Patrick
God Bless America
Be proud of your Country!
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LI Phil
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Dude, you're a trooper. Hang in there.
Just for you, here's that KILLER joke (at least in my mind or until Ed checks back in):
A man walks into a bar (stop me if you've heard this one) {That by the way, is the oldest bad joke in the book}...
Anyhow, he walks up to the bartender and says, "Bartender, I'll bet you five bucks I can bite my eye."
The bartender looks at him, somewhat warily and says, "sure, you can bite your eye. OK, here's five bucks."
So the guy takes out a glass eye and bites it.
The bartender, somewhat nonplussed, plops a fin on the bar.
Well, the gentleman has a couple of pops, and in time says, "Hey, beertender, I'll bet you $10 that I can bite my other eye."
The bartender stares for a second, looks at the guy and thnks, "this guy can see, he can't have two glass eyes". So he takes him up on the offer.
So the guy takes out his false teeth and bites his other eye.
Furious, the bartender resumes his duties.
More drinking ensues. Finally, the guy at the bar says, "Hey, you, guy, bartender, person, dude" (extremely slurrend and obviously drunken) "you she that schlootglazz at the endd uf the barrrrrr. Well, I'll bet yoou a hunred dollaarsh that I can stand at dah end off dah (burp) bahr, and I can take a pish into dat schlotglazz, and I'll get efry drop in it."
The bartender stares at the drunk and considers the situation. OK he got me with the glass eye and the false teeth. But there's no WAAY he can pee in a shotglass from the end of the bar...No Way.
So he says to the drunk. "OK You're on. Here's a $100 bill to bet you that you cannot stand at the end of the bar and pee in this shotglass.
So the drunk gets up, stands at the end or the bar, opens his pants and starts peeing.
Well, as you might imagine, not one drop lands in the shot glass. However, he manages to pee on the bartender, the patrons and the bar itself.
So, moments later, elated, the bartender starts wiping the bar clean and whistling to himself over a rather stupid bet, quips to the drunk,
"you're obviously drunk, how could you make such a stupid bet like that?"
The drunk, now surprisingly sober responds" (OK here's the kicker)
"You see those four guys sitting at the table in the corner? Well about an hour ago I just bet them a thousand t dollarrs each that I could piss all over the bar, piss on you, and you'd be smiling and cleaning it up"
And as George Burns used to say to his wife, Gracie:
"Say Goodnight, Gracie"
His wife would then respond, "Goodnight Gracie"
Classic. Just classic.
Hope you enjoyed this little bit of humor.
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2005 Forecast: 14/7/4
BUCKLE UP!
"If your topic ain't tropic, your post will be toast"
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Spike
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HAHAHAH!!!! I have never heard that one before Lol now that is one clever drunk Thanks for the joke it was great! 
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Patrick
God Bless America
Be proud of your Country!
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LI Phil
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Strange as it may sound, I've been using that as an "icebreaker" for the last 20 years. Feel free to use it as your own
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2005 Forecast: 14/7/4
BUCKLE UP!
"If your topic ain't tropic, your post will be toast"
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Spike
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Posts: 221
Loc: Central, Florida
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Lol. Thanks man
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Patrick
God Bless America
Be proud of your Country!
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