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Chill falls over the Atlantic as the official season heads towards close
Days since last H. Landfall - US: Any 211 (Idalia) , Major: 211 (Idalia) Florida - Any: 211 (Idalia) Major: 211 (Idalia)
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Off-Topic >> Comedy Shop

FlaMommy
Storm Tracker


Reged: Fri
Posts: 225
Loc: Tampa(Riverview), Florida
Re: EQUAL TIME for the fellas...
      Sat Aug 06 2005 11:56 AM

ITS ME AGAIN...IM BACK!!!!!!!


Q. How are husbands like lawn mowers?
A. They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odours, and half the time they don't work.

Q. How can you tell when a man is well hung?
A. When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.

Q. How do men define a "50/50" relationship?
A. We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.

Q. How do men exercise on the beach?
A. By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

Q. How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
A. Make him wear shoes.

Q. How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A. Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals."

Q. How does a man show he's planning for the future?
A. He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

Q. How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male?
A. All he's concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs.

Q. What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant?
A. Any place without a drive-up window.

Q. What do you call a handcuffed man?
A. Trustworthy.

Q. What do you call the useless piece of skin on the end of a man's penis?
A. His body.

Q. What makes a man think about a candlelight dinner?
A. A power failure.

Q. What should you give a man who has everything?
A. A woman to show him how to work it.

Q. What do men and mascara have in common?
A. They both run at the first sign of emotion.

Q. What do men and pantyhose have in common?
A. They either cling, run, or don't fit right in the crotch!

Q. What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?
A. His wife is good at picking out clothes.

Q. What's a man's definition of a romantic evening?
A. Sex.

Q. What's a man's idea of honestly in a relationship?
A. Telling you his real name.

Q. What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups?
A. Put the remote control between his toes.

Q. What's the difference between Big Foot and intelligent man?
A. Big Foot's been spotted a several times.

Q. What's the smartest thing a man can say?
A. "My wife says..."

Q. Why can't men get mad cow disease?
A. Because they're all pigs.

Q. Why do men like smart women?
A. Opposites attract.

Q. Why do men name their penises?
A. Because they don't like the idea of having a stranger make 90% of their decisions.

Q. Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
A. Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.

Q. Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
A. Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Q. Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
A. Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A widow.

Q. When do you care for a man's company?
A. When he owns it.

Q. What do men and sperm have in common?
A. They both have one in a million chance of becoming a human being.

--------------------
"Haven't thought of a witty one lately"

Post Extras Print Post   Remind Me!     Notify Moderator


Entire topic
Subject Posted by Posted on
* Cows & Politics Explained Jamiewx Sat Aug 06 2005 11:56 AM
. * * Trouble marriage Part 1 B.C.Francis   Sun Jul 31 2005 09:29 AM
. * * Re: Trouble marriage Part 2 FlaMommy   Sun Jul 31 2005 12:52 PM
. * * Re: Troubled marriage Part 2 B.C.Francis   Sun Jul 31 2005 01:08 PM
. * * Re: Troubled marriage Part 2 FlaMommy   Sun Jul 31 2005 01:10 PM
. * * Re: Troubled marriage Part 2 B.C.Francis   Sun Jul 31 2005 01:16 PM
. * * Re: Troubled marriage Part 2 Heather   Sun Jul 31 2005 02:11 PM
. * * Husband Shopping Center Jamiewx   Sun Jul 31 2005 10:31 PM
. * * Re: Husband Shopping Center B.C.Francis   Mon Aug 01 2005 07:30 AM
. * * The Perfect Gift FlaMommy   Mon Aug 01 2005 12:38 PM
. * * Re: The Perfect Gift FlaMommy   Mon Aug 01 2005 12:42 PM
. * * Old age B.C.Francis   Mon Aug 01 2005 01:40 PM
. * * Re: Old age FlaMommy   Mon Aug 01 2005 02:59 PM
. * * GOOD ONE!!! FlaMommy   Mon Aug 01 2005 03:00 PM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! B.C.Francis   Mon Aug 01 2005 03:41 PM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! FlaMommy   Mon Aug 01 2005 04:30 PM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! Heather   Mon Aug 01 2005 06:46 PM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! B.C.Francis   Mon Aug 01 2005 07:26 PM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! FlaMommy   Tue Aug 02 2005 11:38 AM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! Serino   Sun Sep 11 2005 12:29 AM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! FlaMommy   Tue Aug 02 2005 11:39 AM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! FlaMommy   Tue Aug 02 2005 11:40 AM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! FlaMommy   Tue Aug 02 2005 11:41 AM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! FlaMommy   Tue Aug 02 2005 08:29 PM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! Somebody   Tue Aug 02 2005 08:51 PM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! B.C.Francis   Wed Aug 03 2005 08:59 AM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! TAZMAN   Wed Aug 03 2005 10:06 AM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! B.C.Francis   Wed Aug 03 2005 01:25 PM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! FlaMommy   Wed Aug 03 2005 03:33 PM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! FlaMommy   Wed Aug 03 2005 03:49 PM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! Storm Cooper   Wed Aug 03 2005 08:06 PM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! FlaMommy   Wed Aug 03 2005 11:50 PM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! FlaMommy   Thu Aug 04 2005 08:43 AM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! FlaMommy   Thu Aug 04 2005 08:47 AM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! B.C.Francis   Thu Aug 04 2005 08:59 AM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! FlaMommy   Thu Aug 04 2005 10:47 AM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! B.C.Francis   Fri Aug 05 2005 03:51 PM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! Heather   Fri Aug 05 2005 06:01 PM
. * * EQUAL TIME for the fellas... LI Phil   Fri Aug 05 2005 08:25 PM
. * * Re: EQUAL TIME for the fellas... B.C.Francis   Sat Aug 06 2005 08:44 AM
. * * Re: EQUAL TIME for the fellas... FlaMommy   Sat Aug 06 2005 11:56 AM
. * * Re: EQUAL TIME for the fellas... FlaMommy   Sat Aug 06 2005 11:57 AM
. * * Rules Men Wish Women Knew B.C.Francis   Sun Aug 07 2005 11:21 AM
. * * Re: Good Clean Joke....lol FlaMommy   Tue Aug 09 2005 10:38 AM
. * * Stroke B.C.Francis   Tue Aug 09 2005 04:43 PM
. * * Re: I MISSED U GUYS... FlaMommy   Thu Aug 11 2005 11:37 AM
. * * Re: I MISSED U GUYS... FlaMommy   Thu Aug 11 2005 11:40 AM
. * * Re: EQUAL TIME for the fellas... B.C.Francis   Sat Aug 06 2005 01:48 PM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! FlaMommy   Tue Aug 02 2005 09:11 PM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! Storm Cooper   Tue Aug 02 2005 08:36 PM
. * * Re: Troubled marriage Part 2 FlaMommy   Sun Jul 31 2005 01:13 PM

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