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West Caribbean low has a 20% chance to develop in the Gulf late this week, even if it does not more rain. for Florida/Gulf.
Days since last H. Landfall - US: Any 225 (Nate) , Major: 243 (Maria) Florida - Any: 253 (Irma) Major: 253 (Irma)
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Off-Topic >> Comedy Shop

Jamiewx
Storm Tracker


Reged: Wed
Posts: 371
Loc: Orlando, Florida
Cows & Politics Explained
      Sat Jul 23 2005 10:38 PM

A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

AN AMERICAN REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?

AN AMERICAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.

A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.

A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. They are mad. They die. Pass the shepherd's pie, please.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship both of them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported on them.

AN ISRAELI CORPORATION: There are these two Jewish cows, right? They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send their calves to Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people?

AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION: You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.

--------------------
"Climate is what you expect, weather is what you get"
- Robert A. Heinlein

Post Extras Print Post   Remind Me!     Notify Moderator


Entire topic
Subject Posted by Posted on
* Cows & Politics Explained Jamiewx Sat Jul 23 2005 10:38 PM
. * * Trouble marriage Part 1 B.C.Francis   Sun Jul 31 2005 09:29 AM
. * * Re: Trouble marriage Part 2 FlaMommy   Sun Jul 31 2005 12:52 PM
. * * Re: Troubled marriage Part 2 B.C.Francis   Sun Jul 31 2005 01:08 PM
. * * Re: Troubled marriage Part 2 FlaMommy   Sun Jul 31 2005 01:10 PM
. * * Re: Troubled marriage Part 2 B.C.Francis   Sun Jul 31 2005 01:16 PM
. * * Re: Troubled marriage Part 2 Heather   Sun Jul 31 2005 02:11 PM
. * * Husband Shopping Center Jamiewx   Sun Jul 31 2005 10:31 PM
. * * Re: Husband Shopping Center B.C.Francis   Mon Aug 01 2005 07:30 AM
. * * The Perfect Gift FlaMommy   Mon Aug 01 2005 12:38 PM
. * * Re: The Perfect Gift FlaMommy   Mon Aug 01 2005 12:42 PM
. * * Old age B.C.Francis   Mon Aug 01 2005 01:40 PM
. * * Re: Old age FlaMommy   Mon Aug 01 2005 02:59 PM
. * * GOOD ONE!!! FlaMommy   Mon Aug 01 2005 03:00 PM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! B.C.Francis   Mon Aug 01 2005 03:41 PM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! FlaMommy   Mon Aug 01 2005 04:30 PM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! Heather   Mon Aug 01 2005 06:46 PM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! B.C.Francis   Mon Aug 01 2005 07:26 PM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! FlaMommy   Tue Aug 02 2005 11:38 AM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! Serino   Sun Sep 11 2005 12:29 AM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! FlaMommy   Tue Aug 02 2005 11:39 AM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! FlaMommy   Tue Aug 02 2005 11:40 AM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! FlaMommy   Tue Aug 02 2005 11:41 AM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! FlaMommy   Tue Aug 02 2005 08:29 PM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! Somebody   Tue Aug 02 2005 08:51 PM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! B.C.Francis   Wed Aug 03 2005 08:59 AM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! TAZMAN   Wed Aug 03 2005 10:06 AM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! B.C.Francis   Wed Aug 03 2005 01:25 PM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! FlaMommy   Wed Aug 03 2005 03:33 PM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! FlaMommy   Wed Aug 03 2005 03:49 PM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! Storm Cooper   Wed Aug 03 2005 08:06 PM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! FlaMommy   Wed Aug 03 2005 11:50 PM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! FlaMommy   Thu Aug 04 2005 08:43 AM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! FlaMommy   Thu Aug 04 2005 08:47 AM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! B.C.Francis   Thu Aug 04 2005 08:59 AM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! FlaMommy   Thu Aug 04 2005 10:47 AM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! B.C.Francis   Fri Aug 05 2005 03:51 PM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! Heather   Fri Aug 05 2005 06:01 PM
. * * EQUAL TIME for the fellas... LI Phil   Fri Aug 05 2005 08:25 PM
. * * Re: EQUAL TIME for the fellas... B.C.Francis   Sat Aug 06 2005 08:44 AM
. * * Re: EQUAL TIME for the fellas... FlaMommy   Sat Aug 06 2005 11:56 AM
. * * Re: EQUAL TIME for the fellas... FlaMommy   Sat Aug 06 2005 11:57 AM
. * * Rules Men Wish Women Knew B.C.Francis   Sun Aug 07 2005 11:21 AM
. * * Re: Good Clean Joke....lol FlaMommy   Tue Aug 09 2005 10:38 AM
. * * Stroke B.C.Francis   Tue Aug 09 2005 04:43 PM
. * * Re: I MISSED U GUYS... FlaMommy   Thu Aug 11 2005 11:37 AM
. * * Re: I MISSED U GUYS... FlaMommy   Thu Aug 11 2005 11:40 AM
. * * Re: EQUAL TIME for the fellas... B.C.Francis   Sat Aug 06 2005 01:48 PM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! FlaMommy   Tue Aug 02 2005 09:11 PM
. * * Re: GOOD ONE!!! Storm Cooper   Tue Aug 02 2005 08:36 PM
. * * Re: Troubled marriage Part 2 FlaMommy   Sun Jul 31 2005 01:13 PM

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