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Off-Topic >> Comedy Shop

Multi-Decadal Signal
Weather Guru


Reged: Thu
Posts: 149
Loc: BROWARD
If You Live in Florida...
      Fri Jul 27 2007 06:44 AM

To: All (found on a non Wx Forum)
We're about to enter the peak of the hurricane season in
Florida. If you're new to the area, you're probably
wondering what you need to do to prepare for the
possibility that we'll get hit by "the big one." Based on
our experiences, we recommend that you follow this simple
three-step hurricane preparedness plan:

STEP 1. Buy enough food and bottled water to last your
family for at least three days.

STEP 2. Put these supplies into your car.

STEP 3. Drive to Nebraska and remain there until Thanks-
giving.

Unfortunately, statistics show that most people will not
follow this sensible plan. Most people will foolishly stay
here in Florida. We'll start with one of the most important
hurricane preparedness items:

HOMEOWNERS' INSURANCE: If you own a home, you must have
hurricane insurance. Fortunately, this insurance is cheap
and easy to get, as long as your home meets two basic
requirements:

(1) It is reasonably well-built, and...

(2) It is located in Nebraska.

Unfortunately, if your home is located in Florida, or any
other area that might actually be hit by a hurricane, most
insurance companies would prefer not to sell you hurricane
insurance, because then they might be required to pay YOU
money, and that is certainly not why they got into the
insurance business in the first place.

EVACUATION ROUTE: If you live in a low-lying area, you should
have an evacuation route planned out. (To determine whether
you live in a low-lying area, look at your driver's license;
if it says "Florida", you live in a low-lying area.)

The purpose of having an evacuation route is to avoid being
trapped in your home when a major storm hits. Instead, you
will be trapped in a gigantic traffic jam several miles from your home, along with two hundred thousand other evacuees. So, as a bonus, you will not be lonely.

Of course these are just basic precautions. As the hurricane draws near, it is vitally important that you keep abreast of the situation by turning on your television and watching TV reporters in rain slickers stand right next to the ocean and tell you over and over how vitally important it is for everybody to stay away from the ocean.

Good luck, and remember: It's great living in Paradise

--------------------
Who you gonna' believe?
Me, or your damn lying eyes?
_Ö_ _ö_

Post Extras Print Post   Remind Me!     Notify Moderator


Entire topic
Subject Posted by Posted on
* If You Live in Florida... Multi-Decadal Signal Fri Jul 27 2007 06:44 AM
. * * I have combined 2 riddles which my Dad told/asked of me as a child Multi-Decadal Signal   Sat Sep 06 2008 03:32 PM
. * * Re: If You Live in Florida... eulogia   Sun Jul 29 2007 01:35 AM
. * * Re: If You Live in Florida... srq   Sun Jul 20 2008 08:58 PM
. * * Fay was afraid to go into the water Ed in Va   Wed Aug 20 2008 09:33 AM
. * * Re: Fay was afraid to go into the water eulogia   Fri Aug 22 2008 01:21 PM
. * * Re: Fay was afraid to go into the water GoBigSurf   Wed Aug 27 2008 02:25 PM
. * * Re: Fay was afraid to go into the water srquirrely   Sat Aug 23 2008 02:18 AM
. * * Re: Fay was afraid to go into the water KC   Fri Aug 22 2008 01:31 PM

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