Here's some humor: I turned 39 today (for the first time) and now I can officially say that I have arthritis.

Some more: at my oldest son's game last weekend, the "waterboy" who was carrying the 2-ton water sprayers that I use to spray down the kids (and coaches as needed) dropped the doggone thing on my toe! OUCH! However, it didn't really hurt until later on......
While watching the Miss USA pageant I decided to put my old modeling moves into play...and while twirling around the kitchen like an elephant, I missed my mark (by like a 1/2 mile) and promptly stubbed aforementioned toe into the refrigerator.
Now I know why my father didn't name me after his sister:

GRACE