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Off-Topic >> Comedy Shop

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Jamiewx
Storm Tracker


Reged: Wed
Posts: 371
Loc: Orlando, Florida
Smart College Students & the Smart Professor
      #35074 - Tue Mar 29 2005 02:26 PM

At Duke University, there were four sophomores taking Organic Chemistry. They were doing so well on all the quizzes, midterms and labs, etc., that each had an A so far for the semester.

These four friends were so confident, that the weekend before finals, they decided to go up to the University of Virginia and party with some friends there.

They had a great time, but after all the hearty partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Duke until early Monday morning.

Rather than taking the final then, they decided to find their professor after the final and explain to him why they missed it.

They explained that they had gone to UVA for the weekend with the plan to come back in time to study, but, unfortunately, they had a flat tire on the way back, didn't have a spare, and couldn't get help for a long time. As a result, they missed the final.

The professor thought it over and then agreed they could make up the final the following day.

The guys were elated and relieved. They studied that night and went in the next day at the time the professor had told them.

He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet and told them to begin.

They looked at the first problem, worth five points. It was a fairly straight-forward question about free radical formation. Cool, they each thought!

All, at the same time, each one in his separate room, thought, this is going to be easy!

Each finished the free radical problem and then turned the page.

On the second page was written:
"For 95 points: Which tire?"


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Lysis
User


Reged: Thu
Posts: 451
Loc: Hong Kong
Re: Smart College Students & the Smart Professor [Re: Jamiewx]
      #35080 - Tue Mar 29 2005 09:34 PM



Quite funny. I presume you were one of the students?

--------------------
cheers


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Jamiewx
Storm Tracker


Reged: Wed
Posts: 371
Loc: Orlando, Florida
Re: Smart College Students & the Smart Professor [Re: Lysis]
      #35082 - Tue Mar 29 2005 10:04 PM

No it wasn't me, but i could see one of my professors doing that though, so I avoid missing finals.

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hurricane_run
Storm Tracker


Reged: Sun
Posts: 366
Loc: USA
Re: Smart College Students & the Smart Professor [Re: Jamiewx]
      #35125 - Sat Apr 02 2005 07:47 PM

that is funny

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B.C.Francis
Storm Tracker


Reged: Sat
Posts: 322
Loc: Indiatlantic Florida
warning lables on alcohol containers [Re: hurricane_run]
      #35371 - Fri May 13 2005 12:49 PM

Liquor manufacturers have accepted the U.S. Goverment`s suggestion that the following warning lables be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers.....Warning:The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when your not.......Warning: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in thinking you can really dance........Warning: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them......Warning: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think that you can really sing....Warning: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.....Warning: The consumtion of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex with out spitting....Warning: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher ,smarter,faster and better looking than most people.....Warning: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing with you.....Warning: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy....Warning: The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting your butt kicked........Weatherchef

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Spike
Storm Tracker


Reged: Wed
Posts: 221
Loc: Central, Florida
Re: Smart College Students & the Smart Professor [Re: hurricane_run]
      #35992 - Wed Jun 01 2005 12:01 PM

Funny stuff.

--------------------
Patrick
God Bless America
Be proud of your Country!


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LadyStorm
Weather Guru


Reged: Thu
Posts: 153
Loc: United States
Re: warning lables on alcohol containers [Re: B.C.Francis]
      #36040 - Thu Jun 02 2005 06:21 AM

Very funny yes. But also how true...:)

--------------------
"The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of
thinking we were at when we created them"

..........Albert Einstein


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B.C.Francis
Storm Tracker


Reged: Sat
Posts: 322
Loc: Indiatlantic Florida
Healthy Levels of Insanity [Re: LadyStorm]
      #36096 - Sat Jun 04 2005 02:52 PM

1. At lunch time, sit in your car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down....2. Page yourself over the intercom and don`t disguise your voice....3. Everytime someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.....4....Put a garbage can on your desk and lable it "IN"....5. Put decaf in the coffee maker at work for three weeks. Once everybody has gotten over their caffeine addiction, switch to expresso.....6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "For sexual favors "...7. Finish all your sentences with " In accordance with the prophecy "...8. Dontuseanypunctuation....9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk....10. Ask people what sex they are and laugh hysterically after they answer....11. Specify that your drive-through order is " To Go "...12. Sing along at the opera....13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don`t rhyme...14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day....15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can`t attend their party because your not in the mood...16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name " Rock Hard ".....17. When the money comes out of the ATM , Scream " I WON ! , I WON ! ".....18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling " Run for your lives, They`re loose ! "....19. Tell your children over dinner " Due to the economy , We are going to have to let one of you go "...........Enjoy.......Weatherchef

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Heather
Weather Hobbyist


Reged: Tue
Posts: 91
Loc: Sebring, FL
Re: Healthy Levels of Insanity [Re: B.C.Francis]
      #36097 - Sat Jun 04 2005 03:24 PM

Quote:

1. At lunch time, sit in your car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down....2. Page yourself over the intercom and don`t disguise your voice....3. Everytime someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.....4....Put a garbage can on your desk and lable it "IN"....5. Put decaf in the coffee maker at work for three weeks. Once everybody has gotten over their caffeine addiction, switch to expresso.....6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "For sexual favors "...7. Finish all your sentences with " In accordance with the prophecy "...8. Dontuseanypunctuation....9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk....10. Ask people what sex they are and laugh hysterically after they answer....11. Specify that your drive-through order is " To Go "...12. Sing along at the opera....13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don`t rhyme...14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day....15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can`t attend their party because your not in the mood...16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name " Rock Hard ".....17. When the money comes out of the ATM , Scream " I WON ! , I WON ! ".....18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling " Run for your lives, They`re loose ! "....19. Tell your children over dinner " Due to the economy , We are going to have to let one of you go "...........Enjoy.......Weatherchef





OMG too funny!! I am going to have to try some of those at work-those people REALLY need to lighten up!!

--------------------
When it rains, it pours...


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B.C.Francis
Storm Tracker


Reged: Sat
Posts: 322
Loc: Indiatlantic Florida
Re: Healthy Levels of Insanity [Re: Heather]
      #36098 - Sat Jun 04 2005 04:10 PM

Two things I do best, cooking and making people smile. Be happy..Weatherchef

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B.C.Francis
Storm Tracker


Reged: Sat
Posts: 322
Loc: Indiatlantic Florida
More Healthy Levels of Insanity [Re: Heather]
      #36155 - Tue Jun 07 2005 11:16 AM

1. Leave your turn signal on for 150 miles...2. Leave the copy machine set to reduce200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies....3.Reply to everything someone says with " thats what YOU think. "....4. Speak only in a " robot " voice....5. Make beeping sounds when a large person backsup....6. Holler random numbers while someone is counting....7. Staple papers in the middle of the page...8. Sew anti-theft detector strips into peoples backpacks....9. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page....10. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange...11. Wear your pants backward....12. Buy a large quanitity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets...13. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes....14. Light road flares on a birthday cake....15. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.....16. Wear a cape when you go out that says " Magnificent One "...17. Drive half a block....18. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.....19. Lie obviously about trivial things as the time of day....20. At a golf tournament, chant " swing- batabatabata-suhWING- batter! " 21. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your " imaginary friend. "....22. Select the same song on the jukebox 50 times.....23. Make appointments for the 31st of September....24. Contruct elaborate " crop circles " on your front lawn....25. Construct your own pretend " tricorder, " and " scan " people with it, announcing the results. .......Enjoy....Weatherchef

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