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Today is the last day of the 2021 Atlantic Hurricane Season. 8 landfalls including Ida, but no landfalls in the late season.
Days since last H. Landfall - US: Any 85 (Nicholas) , Major: 100 (Ida) Florida - Any: 1154 (Michael) Major: 1154 (Michael)
 


Off-Topic >> Comedy Shop

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Jamiewx
Storm Tracker


Reged: Wed
Posts: 371
Loc: Orlando, Florida
BETTER BE PREPARED!!!
      #57319 - Sun Sep 25 2005 05:05 PM

BETTER BE PREPARED!!!

Attorneys should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to the stand.


He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"


She responded: "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams.

I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. you lie, you cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. you think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The Lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked: "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"


She again replied: "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him." The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said: "If either of you bast**ds asks her if she knows me, I'll throw your sorry asses in jail for contempt!"

--------------------
"Climate is what you expect, weather is what you get"
- Robert A. Heinlein


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