LI Phil
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Posts: 2637
Loc: Long Island (40.7N 73.6W)
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A Bone for you, spike
Fri May 21 2004 03:32 AM
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Dude, you're a trooper. Hang in there.
Just for you, here's that KILLER joke (at least in my mind or until Ed checks back in):
A man walks into a bar (stop me if you've heard this one) {That by the way, is the oldest bad joke in the book}...
Anyhow, he walks up to the bartender and says, "Bartender, I'll bet you five bucks I can bite my eye."
The bartender looks at him, somewhat warily and says, "sure, you can bite your eye. OK, here's five bucks."
So the guy takes out a glass eye and bites it.
The bartender, somewhat nonplussed, plops a fin on the bar.
Well, the gentleman has a couple of pops, and in time says, "Hey, beertender, I'll bet you $10 that I can bite my other eye."
The bartender stares for a second, looks at the guy and thnks, "this guy can see, he can't have two glass eyes". So he takes him up on the offer.
So the guy takes out his false teeth and bites his other eye.
Furious, the bartender resumes his duties.
More drinking ensues. Finally, the guy at the bar says, "Hey, you, guy, bartender, person, dude" (extremely slurrend and obviously drunken) "you she that schlootglazz at the endd uf the barrrrrr. Well, I'll bet yoou a hunred dollaarsh that I can stand at dah end off dah (burp) bahr, and I can take a pish into dat schlotglazz, and I'll get efry drop in it."
The bartender stares at the drunk and considers the situation. OK he got me with the glass eye and the false teeth. But there's no WAAY he can pee in a shotglass from the end of the bar...No Way.
So he says to the drunk. "OK You're on. Here's a $100 bill to bet you that you cannot stand at the end of the bar and pee in this shotglass.
So the drunk gets up, stands at the end or the bar, opens his pants and starts peeing.
Well, as you might imagine, not one drop lands in the shot glass. However, he manages to pee on the bartender, the patrons and the bar itself.
So, moments later, elated, the bartender starts wiping the bar clean and whistling to himself over a rather stupid bet, quips to the drunk,
"you're obviously drunk, how could you make such a stupid bet like that?"
The drunk, now surprisingly sober responds" (OK here's the kicker)
"You see those four guys sitting at the table in the corner? Well about an hour ago I just bet them a thousand t dollarrs each that I could piss all over the bar, piss on you, and you'd be smiling and cleaning it up"
And as George Burns used to say to his wife, Gracie:
"Say Goodnight, Gracie"
His wife would then respond, "Goodnight Gracie"
Classic. Just classic.
Hope you enjoyed this little bit of humor.
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2005 Forecast: 14/7/4
BUCKLE UP!
"If your topic ain't tropic, your post will be toast"
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